Kinds Of Sports

Fred Taylor has been the face of the Jaguars for much of his 11 year career. The former Florida Gator, who had amassed 11,271 rushing yards during an injury prone career, wanted to be that rare breed who finished a brilliant career with the same team he started with. But yesterday, despite reports that Taylor was willing to take a pay cut to remain a Jaguar, the team cut the greatest running back it’s ever had.

Such is life for a running back in the NFL. Great one minute. Completely disposable the next. It’s a tough fall for Taylor, who has spent his entire football life in the Sunshine State, but not one that is entirely that shocking. The question for NFL veterans in the salary cap era is not, “what have you done for me lately,” but “what haven’t you done for me lately.” It’s a cruel, painless demise that most former elite running backs face nowadays, with their position being labeled one of the most replacable and shortest lasting in the game.

Taylor is just one of many players who have been kicked to the curb despite consistent brilliance, because the ‘ol body didn’t have in it’s 30’s what it once had in it’s 20’s. Because of that, the days of the Emmitt Smiths seem long gone.

Larry Johnson was a machine from 2005 to 2006, scoring 37 touchdowns on the ground, and logging 752 carries. The heart and soul of the Chiefs, LJ was indispensable, one of the few untouchables on KC, and a dynamo in fantasy leagues everywhere. He was the engine that made their offense run. Now, no one wants him. Including, Kansas City. That’s what 1,243 carries in six seasons will do for you. His run ins with the law haven’t exactly helped his case either.

LaDanian Tomlinson was the greatest football player on the planet just a few years ago. In 2006 he lit up the league for an astonishing 31 touchdowns, while bolting to 1,815 yards on the ground. LT was an elite player, a fabulous athlete who could not only run the ball like the wind, but he could even throw the pigskin around a little too. Picked 5th in the now infamous Michael Vick draft, after the Chargers traded their first overall pick for essentially him and Drew Brees, he helped turn around the helpless Lightning Bolts into an AFC contender. But he’s on the wrong side of 29 now, and the full tank of gas is dropping steadily. Tomlinson had his worst season as a pro last year, and still had 1,110 yards and 11 touchdowns, but the crickets starting coming out of the woodworks that not only were his best days behind him, but that he also might be expendable.

I guess that’s what 2,657 career rushing carries will do for a player. And even though LT has scored 126 career rushing touchdowns, he’s not the same guy he once was. Sure-fire Hall of Famer? The eight year vet sure seems like a lock. But it’d be a major stretch to say he’ll retire as a Charger. He’s old news and the Chargers are looking for someone with younger fresher legs.

PITTSBURGH, Penn. (CAP) - With just under three weeks to go before the Pittsburg Pirates open up spring training camp, team officials hope the new logo they revealed today featuring a pirate from Somalia will provide the spark the team needs to claim its first National League pennant in 30 years.

Pirates Director of Baseball Operations Bryan Minniti said the last-minute logo change was made in an attempt to piggyback on the extraordinary year that pirates off the coast of Somalia had in 2008. According to a report in the New York Times, Somali pirates hijacked more than 25 ships last year and in many cases were paid million-dollar ransoms for their return.

“How many ships pass by Somalia in a year, anyway - 40, at most?” Minniti asked reporters, rhetorically. “If one of our 3-4-5 guys started the year 25 for 40 (.625), we’d be thrilled. We could learn a lot from their successes - on an off the water.”

Minniti admitted that although the team had invited the model for the new logo, Taguli Ali, a Somali pirate, to the press conference to help unveil it to the media and fans, he would not be making appearance, after all.

According to anonymous team sources, Ali disappeared from the waiting room earlier that morning while the receptionist was getting him coffee. Also missing were 200 copies of the team’s newly printed media guide, the team’s 1979 National League championship trophy, the bat Roberto Clemente used to hit his 3,000th hit, and a glove signed by Andy Van Slyke.

“Actually, the receptionist couldn’t even get him the coffee because he apparently - somehow - had stolen the coffee maker before she could get to it,” Minniti confirmed to reporters. “You’ve probably noticed by this point, too, that we don’t have a podium for this press conference…”

Despite the mishap at team headquarters and the six attempted-rape emergency calls received by Pittsburgh police in an around the building that morning, the Pirates are committed to this new logo and new look.

“Yes, we learned a lesson or two today about inviting Somali pirates to our team headquarters, but if our leadoff guy could steal like that guy, who knows how far this team will go in 2009.”