Pittsburgh Pirates Unveil New Somali-Inspired Logo

February 5th, 2009

PITTSBURGH, Penn. (CAP) - With just under three weeks to go before the Pittsburg Pirates open up spring training camp, team officials hope the new logo they revealed today featuring a pirate from Somalia will provide the spark the team needs to claim its first National League pennant in 30 years.

Pirates Director of Baseball Operations Bryan Minniti said the last-minute logo change was made in an attempt to piggyback on the extraordinary year that pirates off the coast of Somalia had in 2008. According to a report in the New York Times, Somali pirates hijacked more than 25 ships last year and in many cases were paid million-dollar ransoms for their return.

“How many ships pass by Somalia in a year, anyway - 40, at most?” Minniti asked reporters, rhetorically. “If one of our 3-4-5 guys started the year 25 for 40 (.625), we’d be thrilled. We could learn a lot from their successes - on an off the water.”

Minniti admitted that although the team had invited the model for the new logo, Taguli Ali, a Somali pirate, to the press conference to help unveil it to the media and fans, he would not be making appearance, after all.

According to anonymous team sources, Ali disappeared from the waiting room earlier that morning while the receptionist was getting him coffee. Also missing were 200 copies of the team’s newly printed media guide, the team’s 1979 National League championship trophy, the bat Roberto Clemente used to hit his 3,000th hit, and a glove signed by Andy Van Slyke.

“Actually, the receptionist couldn’t even get him the coffee because he apparently - somehow - had stolen the coffee maker before she could get to it,” Minniti confirmed to reporters. “You’ve probably noticed by this point, too, that we don’t have a podium for this press conference…”

Despite the mishap at team headquarters and the six attempted-rape emergency calls received by Pittsburgh police in an around the building that morning, the Pirates are committed to this new logo and new look.

“Yes, we learned a lesson or two today about inviting Somali pirates to our team headquarters, but if our leadoff guy could steal like that guy, who knows how far this team will go in 2009.”

Golf portal in german

February 1st, 2009

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